May 2012
73 posts
Xanax + bison grass vodka = peace
138.4
Ok. Well I’m at my highest weight ever. Even before the anorexia. Wow. I’m actually fat.
Violin lesson at 3.00… Great :(
I CAN lose 30 pounds. Fucking watch me.
i’m trying. i’m trying. i’m trying. i’m trying.
10 tags
They broke me. no returns, no backing up. I hate this body i am trapped in. the mind which tells me i’m hungry, tells me to eat and eat and eat till I’m bent over the porcelain crying and ashamed. I was pure and perfect, my bones comforted me and i was strong and focused. Now i’m lost. I can’t restrict, I can’t be who I was. the only girl I know now is a sad confused...
2 tags
I’m going to stay in bed and pray for death.
6 tags
Everyday
Me: ‘today will be different. I won’t binge, I won’t puke my guts out… I’ll lose weight. I’ll eat healthily. I’ll stop all this shit.’
… 4 hours later
‘where’s the cake and bread?!’
earthychic:
“I wish I could just wake up one morning and wake up recovered.”
I need to stop eating.
If anything ever happens to me, I want my family to know how hard I tried. And how sorry I am it came to this. I honestly wish I was a better daughter… That you hadn’t watched me suffer for years. I didn’t live up to my potential and wasted so much time and effort into hating myself not pursuing my talent. I openly betrayed your trust again and again… I cut, purged and...
2 tags
If anything my eating is more disordered than ever. i need more meds, more help, something, or this is going to kill me.
4 tags
5 tags
5 tags
ED
I honestly believe my eating disorder will kill me.
I need to die.
4 tags
hushhtess asked: How you doin' gorgeous girl? xo
I can't do this anymore
I hope I die. I hope I die. I hope I die. I hope I die.
broken-bluebird asked: Oh baby, I just saw your arm, I'm sorry :( You're not pathetic at all. You're doing something very hard, it's the will to try that's the most important and beautiful thing. If you have a bad lesson then cry, that's ok. It's ok to not do so well sometimes. You obviously have a lot on your mind and it's perfectly ok to be worried. You're doing so well, I...
Anorexia: Don't eat, you'll just get fat. Cause that's what you are- fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat
Binge: Come on, you deserve the ice cream and candy bars. It will make you feel better.
Bulimia: Why the heck did you do that!? You don't want that sitting in your body. Not even a month of restricting can make up for that. Throw it up you wuss!
Self Harm: You suck so much. You'll never recover. You'll never get better. Here's a razor, you'll feel better.
Suicide: Everyone hates you. No one would care. It will never get better. Here's some pills, the pain will disappear.
Recovery: You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are strong. You are wonderful. You will recover. You will get better. You are loved. So many care. Things will get better.
~Choose the voice you will listen to~
4 tags
It’s the kind of day where if I have a bad violin lesson I may well kill myself… wow i’m pathetic.
Please help me :(
4 tags
girlby:
every time im in the shower im so tempted to just stand there forever until i shrivel up into nothing and go down the drain along with all my hopes and dreams
Mum- if you relapse you know you’ll hurt Adam so much don’t you? You can’t go back.
Me- (dies a little bit inside)
What the fuck am
I doing?! Fucking hell I need to get a grip. I should be happy. I’m engaged to the boy I love… So why is my head still telling me to cut and starve?
moretoliving asked: Hi. How tall are you? if you don't mind me asking.
2 tags
Recovery
Im huge. and it’s messing with my head. I’m too ashamed to go into uni because i’m afraid people will judge me… i mean everyone knows i was in patient for anorexia and now i’m just fat. I don’t know how committed I actually feel at the moment about recovering. I just want to be thin again…
verity-veritas asked: Benedict Cumberbatch looks a bit like an otter.
It is really hard some days.
inlieuofeffie:
Just really really hard.
